BDSM is cool, kink is cool. Domestic abuse, violence, and rape are not BDSM, and they are NOT COOL. OR FRIGGIN ROMANTIC OR SEXY!
"If this is the introduction to "BDSM" that millions of readers of this book, and the doubtless millions of future viewers of the film, are receiving, E.L. James has created an absolute monster of a pop culture phenomenon. 50 Shades perpetuates the absolutely false narrative that BDSM is about neglecting consent, violating personal boundaries, and emotionally manipulating and shaming submissives outside of play. BDSM is centered around absolute trust and communication, and not the horrendous acts of a textbook abusive relationship.
The fact in itself that ANYONE can read this and not say to themselves, “Good lord, that’s messed up!” is a testament to how tightly rape culture is woven into our culture, and how desperately we need to teach consent more thoroughly. There IS such a thing as “consensual non-consent”— commonly referred to as “rape fantasy”— but that sort of thing is practiced with partners who absolutely trust each other to respect pre-established boundaries and safe words.
If anyone actually involved in the BDSM community acted like Christian Grey they would be SHAMED AND SHUNNED. ” - B. Zinca